Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
