Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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