I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
