You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
