Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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