Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
