How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
