One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
