Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
