When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
