You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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