NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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