I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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