it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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