How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
