brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
