People with herpes should wear stickers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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