I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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