oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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