what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
