I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
