I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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