I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
