I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
