ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
