He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
