why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
