It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
