You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
