How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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