All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
