I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Never let your siblings swipe right.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
