If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize