I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
