I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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