I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
