wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
