I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
