we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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