i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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