You made me cry and you don't even care
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
