My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Of course I have a pirate flag
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
