your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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