How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize