ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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