Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
