Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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