i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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