how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize