mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
