Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
