one two three fourrrrnication!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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