hell yes lets make some ravioli
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
