we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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