Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
