it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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