I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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