No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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