So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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