haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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