Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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