I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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