fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
