You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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