Screwed.edu
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize