no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
