theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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