I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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