is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
