yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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