I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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