she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
