Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize